‘Jeerings’ of the season – New study examines how best to respond to family members who push buttons | News

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MONTREAL, December 24, 2021 / PRNewswire-PRWeb / – This can happen when people first walk in and take off their coats, after drinking those first two glasses of eggnog, when dinner comes out of the oven, or when cranberry sauce is handed out. Either way, it will almost certainly happen: someone will unleash a verbal landmine, leaving the recipient of the “well-meaning advice” or opinion hurt and angry. It can revolve around relationship status (or lack thereof), a person’s weight or everyone’s favorite subject… politics. So how do you deal with the merry villains? Researchers from PsychTests have the answer.

Analysis of data collected from 12,259 people who took the Emotional intelligence test, the researchers at PsychTests looked at the most common reaction of people to infuriating pushbuttons:

1. ESCAPE OF THE ARTISTS: When prompted, the members of this group silently but decisively walk away from the scene of the heinous verbal crime.

2. COUNTER-ATTACKERS: This group will not let an insult go unchallenged. These are fighting words! Like the duelists of old, they strike back with a hurtful jibe at the instigator’s weakest spot.

3. DEFENDERS: Similar to counterattackers, this group will get angry when insulted, but will not fall to the level of the instigators. Instead, they’ll speak up and make it clear that they don’t appreciate being hit with such a low blow.

4. ZEN MASTERS: They won’t go away. They won’t yell, argue, or kick someone in the chestnuts. This group will just take a deep breath and ignore the provocation. They may smile, laugh, or change the subject, but they sure won’t let anyone ruin their self-esteem or their Christmas spirit.

Here’s how the four groups compared on different traits:

ZEN MASTERS ARE MORE SELF-CONSCIOUS AND CONNECTED TO THEIR FEELINGS

  • Zen Masters Score (on a scale of 0 to 100): 72
  • Defenders score: 68
  • Counterattacker score: 59
  • Score for escape artists: 66

ZEN MASTERS ARE BETTER MANAGE THEIR EMOTIONS

  • Zen Masters Score (on a scale of 0 to 100): 63
  • Score for defenders: 51
  • Score for counterattackers: 45
  • Score for escape artists: 53

ZEN MASTERS ARE BETTER AT ADAPTING TO DIFFERENT SOCIAL SITUATIONS

  • Zen Masters Score (on a scale of 0 to 100): 73
  • Defenders score: 67
  • Counterattacker score: 58
  • Score for escape artists: 64

ZEN MASTERS CHOOSE THEIR FIGHTS wisely

  • Zen Masters Score (on a scale of 0 to 100): 72
  • Defenders score: 67
  • Counterattacker score: 60
  • Score for escape artists: 66

ZEN MASTERS ARE RESILIENT AND RESISTANT COOKIES

  • Zen Masters Score (on a scale of 0 to 100): 77
  • Defenders score: 67
  • Score for counterattackers: 65
  • Score for escape artists: 68

ZEN MASTERS HAVE A MORE POSITIVE MIND

  • Zen Masters Score (on a scale of 0 to 100): 71
  • Defenders score: 62
  • Counterattacker score: 57
  • Score for escape artists: 62

ZEN MASTERS HAVE A GREATER SELF-VALUE

  • Zen Masters Score (on a scale of 0 to 100): 73
  • Defenders score: 67
  • Counterattacker score: 60
  • Score for escape artists: 65

THIS IS WHY THE COUNTER-ATTACK IS ACTUALLY COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE:

  • 33% of counterattackers said they often felt like they were on a constant emotional roller coaster (vs. 30% of defenders, 28% of breakout artists, and 18% of Zen masters).
  • 38% of counterattackers said they spent hours obsessing over flippant remarks (vs. 32% of Defenders, 29% of Escape Artists, and 21% of Zen Masters).
  • 23% of counterattackers are ashamed of their appearance or behavior, which may be the reason they are so easily triggered (vs. 19% of defenders, 18% of breakout artists, and 12% of Zen masters ).
  • 26% of Counterattackers admitted that they don’t know how to react when someone is angry with them (vs. 19% of Defenders, 23% of Escapeurs and 14% of Zen Masters).
  • 27% of counter-attackers avoid tackling sensitive subjects for fear that it will explode in their face (vs 21% of defenders, 23% of escape artists and 15% of Zen masters).
  • 31% of counter-attackers find it difficult to overcome failure, rejection or disappointment (compared to 27% of defenders, 25% of escape artists and 17% of Zen masters).
  • 25% of counter-attackers are in fact intimidated by people with a strong personality (compared to 23% of defenders, 22% of escape artists and 17% of Zen masters).
  • 30% of counter-attackers insult each other when they are wrong (compared to 23% of defenders, 23% of escape artists and 14% of Zen masters).
  • 49% of counterattackers overanalyze situations, creating problems that didn’t even exist (vs. 48% of defenders, 42% of escape artists, and 35% of Zen masters).
  • 45% of counterattackers will make a point of keeping embarrassing experiences to themselves in order to avoid providing someone with ammunition to injure them (vs.> 36% of defenders, 40% of escape artists and 34 % of Zen masters).
  • Ironically, 23% of counterattackers admitted that they unintentionally offended people (vs. 13% of defenders, 15% of escape artists, and 7% of Zen masters).

“Reunions over the holidays can be fun, but when you have a Scrooge in the family – and almost every family has at least one – it can really put a damper on the celebrations,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “In general, I’m a big believer in assertiveness. When someone crosses a border, speak up.

No matter how well that person’s words or actions seem well-meaning and even though they are family, don’t just sit idly by while you are being abused. Make it clear that the person’s behavior is not right for you. For example: “I don’t appreciate being spoken to in this way. If you cannot speak to me with respect, I will no longer be present / invite you to these meetings. Keep it simple, get straight to the point, be calm but firm, and don’t apologize. “

“That being said, it’s important to learn how to choose your fights wisely. If an instigator’s behavior is still coarse, demeaning, or intimidating in nature, assert yourself. no one is just trying to get a reaction from you, don’t jump every time you get baited. Not only will this cause constant and pointless fights, but you will also give the instigator the satisfaction of knowing that they have you affected. of the person’s actions. Does your nemesis like to fight with everyone? Is he possibly plagued by low self-esteem or lack of happiness and, as a result, leads to problems? Do others feel better? If so, then be zen. Laugh about it, shrug your shoulders, change the subject or just ignore it. Wish the person a merry Christmas and put a candy bar in their mouth. “

Want to assess your QE? Check Emotional intelligence test https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3979

Business users, such as HR managers, coaches, and therapists, can request a free demo for this or other assessment from ARCH Profile’s extensive battery: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/testdrive_gen_1

To learn more about psychological testing, download this free eBook: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/personality-tests-in-hr

About PsychTests AIM Inc.

PsychTests AIM Inc. originally appeared on the Internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has grown into a preeminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resources personnel, therapists and coaches, academics. , researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. The staff is made up of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers and artificial intelligence experts (see ARCHProfile.com).

Media contact

Ilona Jerabek, Ph.D, PsychTests AIM Inc., 5147453189, [email protected]

SOURCE PsychTests AIM Inc.


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